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FOOTNOTES
* Not long ago a young college student
sideswiped a car in Cleveland and was
fined $25. The court refused to accept
his check, so he hunted up the nearest
bank, where he hit a snag because the
check was on an out-of-town bank.
Finally the teller asked the young man
if he knew anyone in Cleveland. "Well,
I have a cousin who works for Haskins
& Sells," said the fellow looking heavenward.
"That's all I need to know," replied
the teller smiling broadly, "Here's
your money."
* Do you have trouble with words like
these?
Incur, realize, and liquidate: Expenses
are incurred, income is realized,
and liabilities are liquidated.
Alright: Not considered good usage.
All right is correct.
Per cent and percentage: "... decrease
in the percentage (not per cent)
of sales of oil."
* Along about the end of January each
year the Cleveland Office secretaries
have a luncheon on the proceeds from
fines imposed on everybody who dates
anything with the old year after January
1. As your experience may testify,
these slips are not hard to make, and
they're not hard to pass over, either. So
in Cleveland they get fined just as much
for missing an old date in a review or
when typing a hand-written draft as
they do for originating the mistake.
Rates for partners are 50 cents, for principals
and accountants in charge of engagements
25 cents; for audit and office
staffs 10 cents. Convictions are vigorously
contested, but there is no appeal.
This year's take was around $12.
Our correspondent did not advise us
whether this came from two dozen 50-
cent fines or a lot of dimes.
* Linkem Corp. had an excess inventory
of three-link chains (Figure 1).
Thinking constructively, our accountant
suggested making it into twelve-link
endless chain (Figure 2), for which
there was a ready market.
Figure 1 Figure 2
If it costs 6 cents to cut a link and
7 cents to weld one, what is Linkem's
lowest unit cost to convert to twelve-link
endless chain? Solution below.
* Communications with clients can
sometimes lead to the unexpected, and
this is particularly true for U.S. accountants
on foreign assignments. Take
the recent request of a principal from
the U.S. working in Tokyo. "What was
the date of your last physical inventory?"
he asked. The three-page reply,
which arrived a week later, answered
every possible question concerning
the inventory except (you
guessed it) the date. But problems like
this are not insurmountable and the
chance to know and work with people
of another culture gives one a better
understanding of the world we live in.
* One of our offices received the following
missive from a brokerage client's
customer enclosing his confirmation
card: "Although you are being reimbursed
for your services in connection
with this audit, let me thank you
personally for the hard work which
such an audit must entail. It brings an
Solution: Cut all links of one set; use
them to join three other sets. Three cuts
and three welds cost 3Q cents.
extra measure of peace of mind to the
small investor." Who says nobody loves
the auditor?
* The qualities, other than technical,
on which our accountants get rated are
not as cut and dried as you might expect.
Here are a few comments taken
from seniors' reports on their assistants
in one of our offices:
Pros
Accepts constructive criticism.
Makes excellent impression on clients.
Raises good questions; knows when
he needs help.
Lots of common sense.
Shows keen interest in national and
world affairs.
Cons
Becomes easily discouraged.
Should improve ability to get along
with others.
"Leans" more than he should.
Should learn to think before talking.
Does not defend position under fire,
even when right.
Should smile more often.
* Since publication of the last issue the
following transfers have occurred: Allan
B. Afterman, staff accountant, from
Chicago to Los Angeles; Henry W
Forbes, partner, from DPH&S Sao
Paulo to Executive Office; Jeffrey K.
Gillespie, staff accountant, from Newark
to New York; Marion B. Medich,
principal, from Cleveland to San Juan;
Francis C. Oatway, staff accountant,
from Boston to New York; Robert M.
O'Connor, staff accountant from New
York to Boston; Leroy L. Shaffer, staff
accountant, from Los Angeles to Phoenix;
Luis E. Viatela, staff accountant,
from DPH&S Bogota to Philadelphia;
Martin I. Wasserman, principal, from
Newark to New York; Wayne Williamson,
partner, from Executive Office to
DPH&S Paris.
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