Lyrics:
First verse
I once knew a woman who couldn't spell ""cat,"" And she was as homely as ""cinch;"" In winter she always wore last summer's hat, And a size ‘leven she in a pinch. When she play'd piano weak women would faint And strong men would cry out in grief, While as for her singing, well, that made you feel That is wasnn't so bad to be ""deef!"" Yet still she had company most ev'ry day, And her looks and her voice couldn't drive them a way, For
First Chorus
Oh! how that woman could cook! Her bread was like Angel’s Fool’s cake! She could take soup meat and give it a look, And it tasted like tenderhouse steak! Her “Zup” had a flavor like peaches and cream, Her panacakes, Oh! what a beautiful dream! With a table between us she was pretty like Venus, Ach Gott! How that woman could cook! Oh! how that woman could cook! Her bread was like Angel’s Fool’s cake! She could take soup meat and give it a look, And it tasted like tenderhouse steak! Her “Zup” had a flavor like peaches and cream, Her panacakes, Oh! what a beautiful dream! With a table between us she was pretty like Venus, Ach Gott! How that woman could cook!
Second verse
I once had a meal in a hightoned hotel, Where the waiters was dressed up like dudes; The crok’ry and silver was terrible swell, But I did not care much for the foods. I ordered “Consoomme” account of the name, I said “I’d be swell when in doubt” It made me quite crazy to find when it came, It was soup with the filling left out! When I paid the waiter I said “Here’s a tip, When you’re hungry to my friends house just take a trip,” For
Second chorus
Oh! how that woman could cook! I could not prescribe it to you! She had receipts which was not in no book, And what nobody else ever knew! She made “Vegetabubbles” like never before, And you “et” a you “et” till you couldn’t no more! And her “Eysters” and fishes was simply malicious, Ach Gott! How that woman could cook! Oh! how that woman could cook! I could not prescribe it to you! She had receipts which was not in no book, And what nobody else ever knew! She made “Vegetabubbles” like never before, And you “et” a you “et” till you couldn’t no more! And her “Eysters” and fishes was simply malicious, Ach Gott! How that woman could cook!
Third Chorus
Oh! how that woman could bake! I tell you the words won’t come out! She made a pie called a plum-pudding cake And it simply would melt in your mouth! Her stroodles with noodles would just make you weep And when you drank her coffee your feet fell asleep! While her liver and onions would cure corns and bunions, Ach Gott! How that woman could cook!
